King and Lionheart
by unicorns-meow-rainbows
Summary: Dean makes a terrible mistake and gives up Cas after he swallows Purgatory. One thing leads to another and they're suddenly tripping over each other in lustful emotions. Castiel is going crazy, Sam is going evil, and Dean isn't quite sure what to do!
1. Chapter 1

Listening to Featherstone by The Paper Kites, Dean automatically smiled. He was more the classic rock type of guy, obviously, but Castiel loved that indie hipster music. "And my love is your's but your love's not mine..so i'll go but we know i'll see you down the line. And we'll hate what we lost but we'll love what we find.." Dean sang quietly to himself. He knew the lyrics to this song by heart. He couldn't help but cry a little bit listening to this, though. This was Cass's CD. He left it here. After Cas gulped down Purgatory and died then came back and all that craziness, Dean was beyond mad. He was pissed. Cas was kicked out without hesitation. He didn't even have time to gather too many of his things. The ghost of him was everywhere, and Dean knew it. It made him uncomfortable whenever he got in the impala and smelled Cass's manly-vanilla scent. Who knew vanilla could be manly? Well, it can. Don't even try to protest, just believe it. Vanilla can be VERY manly.  
Even Sam was missing Cass. He would try to bring him up, telling Dean "Hey...maybe you should call him. I bet he's really missing you." But Dean would just wave it off, pretending like Sam was not only chopped liver but CUBED liver. He would waste his sorrows in straight up whiskey. Not watered down and not in small quantities. Dean was rarely sober these days. He missed his angel. He also seemed to have developed anxiety. I know right, Dean Winchester being scared? Oh yeah. He got put on medication. He wasn't only scared, but he was ashamed. He was ashamed of himself and everything that he'd done. Of course, being the prideful bastard that he was, Dean would never just pick up the phone and call Castiel to apologize (although he was sure tempted). Sam was sure that if he just talked to Cass then his anxiety would get better and he could be taken off the pills, but nothing he said to his brother availed.  
Dean shut off the song and leaned back, sighing. He stared up at the star-stricken sky. There was a shooting star, and for a brief moment he thought about what angel was falling and WHY they were falling. A tear escaped his eye. "Are you crying?" Sam asked, walking up with a bottle of beer. "Crying? Psh. No. Never. I don't cry, I'm a man. I'm a man full of testosterone and I love boobs. Men like me don't cry. I just got some dust in my eye. You know, there's too much dust outside. Let's go inside and lock the doors and watch busty Asian babes, that's what manly men like me do. Or maybe we should go kill a monster. YEAH! Man stuff." Sam blinked and stared at him. Dean barely ever talked, let alone ranted about what a man he was. "Yeah um...okay. Sureeee...are you okay? You seem a little...off. Like someone maybe stole your man card and you're trying to convince me that you still have a dick." Dean didn't respond but grinned at the starry sky.  
When the two bros got back to the hotel, they completely crashed. They both fell asleep, and they didn't even care that there was only one bed. Dean only slept because of the copious amounts of alcohol that he imbibed. Sammy, on the other hand, was completely beat. So, they slept. And when they woke, they were both in for quite the shock when they found Sam's mouth drooling all over Dean's muscly shoulder and Dean's knee shoving into Sam's chest. Their arms were pretty much wrapped around each other, which immensely freaked them both out. They agreed not to talk about it ever again or even think about it.  
"I got a hunt," Sam told Dean as they were climbing into the Impala. "Oh yeah? Where and what?" "Well," Sam replied "It's a little weird. It's in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Ah man, real nice place." Dean put the car into gear and slowly drove backwards "Woah woah woah you mean that creepy vintage town we went to a couple years back with dad? THAT Eureka Springs? Man we went into that gift shop and all those old ladies started putting makeup on me! Don't make me go through that again, Sammy." Sam stifled a laugh and continued "Oh Dean, shut up. It was funny!" he rolled his eyes. "Might've been funny to you but you weren't the one dressed like Lady GooGoo on steroids.." "Dean..." "what?" "It's Gaga, not GooGoo..." "Like I care."  
As soon as they got to Arkansas and Sam explained a little bit about what was going on, Dean was feeling very uneasy. That's the worst part about his new anxiety, it makes him uneasy before every single case. "Sammy i'm not feeling so good," Sam patted him on the back and continued walking. Dean never "felt so good". He always felt terrible.  
So what was going on in Eureka Springs was that tourists were complaining of seeing a woman on the staircase of the Crescent hotel. This hotel was named "The most haunted hotel in America" by several spectators but was never taken that seriously. This woman wasn't just like any other ghost, though, she was a demon that turned INTO a ghost. There were no bones to burn, or cursed objects to smash. It was a rare case and they knew it was dangerous. Salt and iron would help, but how would they kill it? They decided that they would use Ruby's knife to kill it...or at least TRY to kill it. Sam even said that this was a dangerous mission and perhaps Dean should sit this one out, but who would watch over little Sammy? No one but Dean.  
They got to the Crescent hotel and checked in. Room 66. Just their luck. Sam slammed the door behind them and Dean jumped. "SAM! Can you watch your temper with that poor door?" "Dean...it's a door. I don't think it's feelings will be hurt," "SAM, THAT IS MAHOGANY" Dean breathed out, panting and shivering. He was often cold and scared these days. "Okay...jeez. Sorry, Effie Trinket." Sam sighed and sat down on the red velvety couch, popping open a beer and sipping it coolly. Dean sighed and looked over at his phone. He really wanted Cass. He wanted him bad. He missed him so much that it hurt. Castiel hadn't even TRIED to get in contact with him. Was he not worth the fight?  
"Dean, wake up! We gotta go. This demon ghost thing is killing people fast. We gotta get rid of it at soon as we can. This thing is on the move. It's fast, but we gotta be faster." Sam quickly spoke as he packed a duffle bag and shook his brother several times to wake him up. Dean rubbed his eyes and got up, jogging to the door. "Okay, let's go." They ran down the stairs, hearing a muffled scream near the lobby. When they got to the lower level, they both spotted a lady wearing an old Victorian style pale colored dress with blood streaks running down the side. Behind her was a young girl of only about 13, crying. She looked terrified.  
The lady twisted her head in a totally unnatural way and stared at them. Sam quickly spoke a Latin exorcism incantation, but to no effect. Dean grabbed the demon knife but before he could do anything, the lady threw out her hand and send Dean flying into the wall. The little girl ran up the stairs and screamed for her parents. Sam yelled at his brother to get up. Both boys ran towards the lady, and she threw them both back against the wall. She spent quite a bit of time beating the almighty crap out of Sam before she moved on to Dean. He strained as hard as he could against the electromagnetic force pushing him against the wall. He just couldn't move.  
Sam lay on the hotel lobby floor, a small trail of blood running from his mouth and nose. Dean struggled against the weight of the ghostish demon woman, but everything went fuzzy. He suspected that she had the power to make people lose their thoughts, and maybe even go crazy. Well, that wouldn't work. He was already crazy.  
The woman leaned in towards him and whispered in his ear "your little boyfriend is gonna be dead when i'm through with him. I just wish I could keep you around to watch him die," and she stabbed him in the chest with one of her razor sharp nail. He gasped and slid down the wall. Just as his eyes were closing, he thought "Well that was a quick hunt," and saw Sam sliding Ruby's blade through the ghost demon's neck as if it were butter.  
"Dean? Dean! Can you hear me? DEAN! wake up!" He heard Sam, but he couldn't respond. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. He faded into sullen blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

DEAN'S POINT OF VIEW  
When Dean woke up, he was in complete bliss. He saw Castiel and Sammy smiling over at him, and his favorite song was playing. He smelled pie everywhere and he was laying in a pile of Busty Asian Babes magazines. Cas started running towards him; Dean held him arms out. As soon as Cas's body touched his, he felt immense pain. He felt like he was drowning in flames. The angel's body turned into a pillar of fire and Dean yelled, stepping back in alarm. "CASS?!" But of course he didn't answer, he was on FIRE for God's sake! "CASTIEL!" Dean screamed at the top of his lungs. All of a sudden, Sammy was burning up, too. Everything was engulfed in pyre and blood. Panting, Dean ran to try and open the door. It was locked. He slid down the wall, starting to panic way past his normal level of anxiety. Castiel was screaming for him, but he was gone. He wasn't even in flames anymore, he had just completely disappeared. Sam was gone, too. Sam started screaming "Dean! Wake up! Please! Oh god please...I'll do anything!" but when he examined the room, Sam wasn't even in there. It was just all fire and blood.  
Screaming at the top of his lungs, and to no avail, he found that asking for help wouldn't actually do any good for him in his current predicament. He had come to the conclusion that he was in Hell. He knew it was true when he heard a voice calling his name, and he turned around to see Lucifer in his old vessel (the one before Sam). "You stay away from me you son of a bitch!" Lucifer smiled in an almost too nice kind of way. Dean stuttered.  
"I'm not here to hurt you, Dean Winchester. I'm here to make a deal with you." Dean spat and screamed at him "I'd never make a deal with you, you bastard! Go to hel-Go fuck yourself!" Lucifer looked mock hurt. "I think you'll wanna make THIS deal, though..." He looked sincere..well of course he did, Dean knew this was a trick. He knew that nothing good would come out of this deal. He wanted to hear it anyway, though. "I'll never make a deal with you, but let me hear it." Lucifer smiled and started ranting.


	3. Chapter 3

DEAN'S POINT OF VIEW  
"Is he alive?" "I don't know..." "Should we poke him? Let's poke him" "Don't poke him!" "boop..." "*sigh*" "What?" The voices were familiar, but I was still too dizzy to distinguish them. I groaned and tried to sit up. I heard someone calling my name just as I also felt a weight against my chest. I looked down to see a little fluff of dark hair leaning against me and long arms stretched around my waist. Thank God he was here. "We were so worried about you," Sam breathed out in a shaky voice. It looked like he'd been crying.  
Castiel was still hugging me, and he wasn't letting go. "Uh...cass? You okay?" he nodded, clutching on to me even tighter. "It's just that in this weeks recent American Horror Story episode, Violet has killed herself and just discovered that she's a ghost. I had no one to share my pain with and...it was truly a terrible situation." I smiled and hugged him back, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and squeezing him tightly. He gasped "Can't breathe can't breathe can't breatheeeee!" I let go the same time he did, and he took as many vigorous breaths as he could.  
I wasn't quite sure how to tell the both of them that I had died and gone to Hell, so I just told them that I blacked out. They said I was out for 3 hours, but it was more like a year in the underworld time. "Where's my baby?" I asked Sam, suddenly very alert. "She's outside in the parking lot. I prayed to Cas as soon as I took care of that ghost demon and realized that you weren't waking up." I nodded. Sam said he had something to go do, and walked out the door. I knew he was just leaving Cass and I here so we could talk things out, but I wasn't quite ready to resolve things. I was still pretty upset at him for swallowing Purgatory and trying to become God. How could someone be so stupid?  
Cas was the one to break the silence. "Listen, I know you're mad that I did all of that. I'm in very deep regret for my actions. I fear that I've hurt you and Samuel, my only true friends. It was never my desire to upset you, Dean. I never wanted for all of this to happen. God disappeared, and someone had to keep things in order. An angel can't possibly be God, though, and he can't keep things in order like that. I was off my rocker. I also quite miss my Paper Kites C.D. Are we at an understanding?"  
Hell changed me. I no longer had my anxiety, I felt stronger, and I no longer held too much of a grudge. I nodded.  
Cass sighed in relief. "We must watch American Horror Story now, please. You just HAVE to see this episode, it's crazy." I was glad that he was back, but man he was a fan girl.  
Just as he was turning the show on, I felt uncomfortable. It's hard to explain, but it was like someone was pulling at my insides, especially my mind. Like someone was trying to possess me. I sighed "No..not yet. Please" Cas looked up "I thought you wanted to watch it with me? I can get your a burger, I'm sure you're craving one" i shook my head "no, it's not that. I just meant...I'm tired" he nodded and looked at me quizzically for a minute. "Understandable. Being in a five thousand degree pit probably does wear out your sweat glands quite a bit. Here, lay down" he patted the bed next to him.  
I laid down on the bed, looking up at him. He looked so...happy. He had his knees pulled close to his chest, wearing black jeans and a plain, dark red shirt. His fuzzy grey socks looked too big for his feet, like slippers. He sipped a mug of what looked like hot tea and smiled down at me. "Well? Are you ready for this electrifying happening?" I rolled my eyes and sat up. "I'll take that as an agreement to proceed!" He switched the show on the television and immediately became glued to it. "See...look...watch, she's going to take that whole bottle of pills...remember that?...and look...Tate just killed that plumber guy because he just saw Violet's dead body but you don't know it's hers yet because you haven't seen it...you'll see it in like 20 minutes..." He was all about the spoilers.  
A point and time came near the ending of the episode where I got too tired to watch. Castiel noticed my droopy eyes and pulled a soft, wool blanket over the both of us. "You should get some rest." He said, his voice quiet. I was wondering were Sam was, maybe he went out for a drink or something? He sure was eager to leave me and the angel boy alone.  
I leaned against Cass's shoulder and yawned. He put one of his arms around my shoulder and leaned his head against mine, placing his cheek on my hair. Snapping his fingers, the lights automatically went out. He kept the show on, though, and continued watching. "Goodnight, Dean" I heard him whisper just as I slipped into a dreamy unconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

CASTIEL'S POINT OF VIEW  
About two hours after Dean had fallen asleep on my shoulder, I got a text from Sam. He told me that he would be gone for awhile working on a separate case. I was okay with that, in all honesty. Maybe it would give Dean and I a chance to bond...or make out. Either one works for me. All was well and I laid down next to Dean, finally falling asleep. I only got about 10 minutes worth, though, because a loud thump awoke me.  
I opened my eyes to see that Dean wasn't next to me anymore. He was on the floor. I tried to hold in a laugh. "Cas, you better not be laughing!" I was completely and utterly amused at him falling off the bed...until I saw his face. Dean wore a mask of terror. I've never seen someone so scared, especially not Dean. Automatically, I knelt down next to him and asked him what was wrong.  
"Nothings wrong, Cass." This though, was obviously a lie, so I kept nagging. After about 10 minutes of my nonstop annoyance, he caved in. "Hell...I keep seeing Hell..." I stared at him, my eyes filling with curiosity. He shuddered and shook, right into my arms. I hugged him. "I didn't just black out. I died. I went to hell, Cas. I went to hell and I saw Lucifer. I didn't even forget. I wasn't there for that long, but it still tears me up. I just can't do this, Cas. I can't do it." At first, I was angry. Angry that he didn't tell me. Then, I was confused. Why DIDN'T he tell me, anyway? Then, I was sad. I was sad that he had to go through all that. Then I realized that if I was mad at him for not telling me, it would only make him trust me less and it would make things a googolplex times worse for him.  
"Cas?" His voice shook and he sniffled before looking up at me. His face was covered in tears, his eyes red around the rims. "Are you mad?" he blinked. I sighed and looked down at him. "No, Dean, I'm not mad. I just wish you would've told me sooner. You know that I'm always here for you. Are you okay? How can I help?" His lips turned up at the corners, but his eyes continued dripping.  
"Just stay with me." he answered. I smiled and hugged him again, rubbing the small of his back. "Uh...Cas. That's about enough hugs for one day. Your hand is too close to my ass." I laughed it off, but on the inside it hurt a little bit. "Yeah, sure, sorry." I smiled at him and climbed back into bed.  
"Wow. I just realized that there are two beds in here! Well...I'm kind of a blanket whore so I think I'll go back to sleep in my own bed. Goodnight, Castiel." I nodded and laid back down. I wasn't upset that he wanted to sleep by himself, I just felt awkward about it. I mean, we'd never slept in the same bed before, but it wasn't like it was that big of a deal. Our clothes were on , we weren't touching, and neither of us had a boner. Well, not one that he could see if I turned the other way. The point is...I guess there is no point. I should just let it go.  
I found that in the morning, Dean just couldn't handle sleeping by himself. He had nightmares of Hell. So naturally when I woke up in the morning, he was laying beside me.


	5. Chapter 5

DEAN'S POINT OF VIEW  
I woke up to see Castiel leaning over me, his face only inches from mine. "I worried if you were still alive or not," he said solemnly. I yawned and sat up. "Did you get into the bed with me last night?" I asked him, looking confused. "No, you came and laid next to me. I think your nightmares were getting to you. Are you feeling alright now?" I nodded and got up. He stepped towards me, looking concerned. "What?" He sighed and shook his head. "It's just...you look awful" I glared at him and smacked his chest "My nipple!" "I look sexy, shut up" "Sorry, sorry. You're right. You look totally sexy!" I texted Sam to see how he was, then I walk down the hallway with Castiel following me.  
"What are we gonna do today? We don't have any jobs and there's nothing to research.." I pulled out my car keys as we neared the impala "I was thinking we could hang out at the park or see a movie. Something like that." Cas's face lit up like a Christmas tree and he started jumping up and down. "The park?! Like, with swings and happy go rounds and monkey bars and SLIDES? OH THE SLIDESSSSSSSSS" I stared at him, my mouth slightly agape. "You child," I finally said, getting in the car. He slid in next to me and stared at me, smiling ear to ear.  
I was going to ditch the park, but I decided that I didn't want to let the angel-boy down. I had barely stopped the car when he already jumping out and running towards the playground, throwing off his trench coat and kicking off his shoes. I smiled. It was kind of adorable, actually. Weird, but adorable.  
"OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE GREATEST THING IN ALL OF EXISTANCE" Cas screeched while sliding down the mega-huge-looks-unsafe-for-all-ages slide. It was black...the perfect color to hide all the children's blood. You may think I'm exaggerating but seriously, this thing was HUGE. I wasn't a fan of heights. Like, at all. No way was I going down that thing. I don't care who you are, that thing was scary. And of course, Castiel loved it.  
He ran around the immense park, laughing and skipping the whole time. It was pretty pathetic, and I constantly kept thinking that he was drunk. But he wasn't drunk, this was just him being himself. "Hey Dean!" he called out. "What?" I responded in a bored way. "What's a pussy?" he called back. I looked up from my phone, wide eyed. "Please tell me you're not reading the graffiti under the slides." He laughed and responded, "I am!"  
I sighed and got up, about to walk over to him. I stopped when I noticed a male jogger running past the park, wearing tight bike shorts and a blue tank top. He stopped for a second and winked at me before moving on. He kept staring at me as he was running past. "Why does everyone think i'm gay?" I mumbled, walking over to Cas.  
"Don't read that stuff. It's gross." He nodded, looking confused "I thought only the pizza man could say some of these things, Dean..." I sighed and pulled him up off the ground. "You ready to go?" He shrugged and said "I really wanted to go down that slide with you," He said, pointing up at the mega-huge-looks-unsafe-for-all-ages slide that I was having daymares about 20 minutes ago. "It was TERRIFYING!" He laughed, skipping over to it. I shook my head. "No way in hell am I going up there with you, Castiel!" He sighed and sat on the top of the slide. "Dean, pleaseeee!" the stupid kid started pouting, sticking his bottom lips out and making puppy dog eyes at me. I groaned loudly and walked over to him, mumbling a quite affirmative.  
I slide behind him on the slide, about a foot away from him. "No no no, you have to hold on to me. It'll make us go faster, and that way we won't crash into each other!" He said casually, like it was common knowledge that every grown man should know to hold on to his best friend while going down a tremendous, gothic slide.  
But just to make him happy, I slid closer and enclosed his body in my arms. He smiled and leaned back on me, murmuring "Are you ready?" Before I could say that this whole thing was stupid and we should just go get food, he kicked off and we both went swishing down the hill. I don't quite remember the 10 second experience because I was too dizzy. Cas said I screamed like a little kid, and he laughed. He then proceeded to where he left his trench coat and converse, sliding them both on.  
Once we were both back in the car, I leaned back in my seat and stared out the window. That was awful. I'm going to either throw up or punch a baby. (Not literally, but in my mind.) Castiel tilted his head "You okay there, big boy?" I nodded and set the car in gear, coming out of my trance.  
I drove us to the movie theatre, where we watch 2 movies. We watched The Hunger Games movie (the first one) and we watched the Disney movie Tangled. Ya know, the one about the hot animated chick with the long hair who has a wicked milf mother and...well, you know the story. It was mid afternoon by the time we were done at the theatre. We decided to walk around the mall.  
"Dean! Could you believe it? How much conditioner does she use on all that hair every morning?! There was so MUCH! But *starts singing* at last I seeeee the lighttttt!" I stepped away from him, trying to act like I didn't know him and that he was a stranger. People still stared. He kept singing. "And it's like the fog has lifted! And at last I see the light, and it's like the sky is new. And it's warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted. All at once, everything looks different, now that I see youuuuuuu" he finished off, singing to a mannequin in Old Navy.  
"Well, Cas, I'm glad that you've found your plastic soul mate, but can you stop singing?" He smiled and nodded, seeming to finally understand that it wasn't normal to belt out a Disney song in the middle of a crowded mall. I hadn't been shopping for clothes in a while, so this was a new thing for me. Castiel hadn't been shopping in a while, either, but he was better at it than me.  
He held up a pair of black leather jeans and a skin-tight cheetah print shirt that said #SWAG on it. I shook my head slowly and glared at him. "Never in a million years will you see me in that, Cas." But after a whole entire 30 minutes of him prodding and singing Disney music, I gave in. I just wanted him to shut up.  
I went into the dressing room and squeezed on the clothes. They were not comfortable...at all. My ass felt like it was being suffocated. I could barely breathe. My nipples rubbed off a little more each time I moved or inhaled. Cas opened the door slowly, bursting out laughing. "Oh my lanta! Oh yes! Yes! Oh my balls, this is amazing! I love it! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He kept laughing, so I just shut the door and ripped the clothes off. I slid my own clothes back on and walked out of the dressing room. He smiled at me for a minute before bursting into a loud laughing fit again.  
"Okay okay, I get it. It was hilarious. Whatever." I said sarcastically, walking out of the store. Castiel followed after me, still laughing a little bit. I rolled my eyes. After walking and talking for a few minutes, we found a Candyopolis. That was something we would both like, so we walked in.  
Surprisingly, we were the only customers in the store. There was only one person working, a girl that looked to be in her early twenties, and she barely paid us any attention. From the sounds of it, she was having a fight with her boyfriend, or SOME guy, on her cellphone. Castiel rolled his eyes as the cashier loudly popped her gum, obviously trying not to sob. He hated it when people popped their gum.  
They had strobe lights on, so it was mainly dark in the store accept for the flashing...the really bright flashing...Anyway, I liked the lights. They were actually pretty cool, and it was a neat twist to the mall's monotonous chain of boutiques. Castiel eyes went wide, and he smiled up at the ceiling. He leaned over and spoke into my ear "We should dance," I stared at him incredulously. "Castiel, I am not going to dance with you in the middle of a candy store." The song Shooting Star by Owl City was playing in the back round. It was pretty loud for back round music. It was a dancy type of song, but I still wasn't going to dance with him.  
Castiel playfully punched me in the shoulder and stepped back. His feet barely touched the floor as he pranced around, spinning and pirouetting. He looked both graceful and awkward all at once in some weird way. After watching him dance all by himself for several minutes to Owl City and Cascada, I smiled and nearly jumped in. He saw my flinch and came over to me. Pulling my arms toward him, he smiled a devilish smile and interlocked our fingers together.  
Before I knew what I was doing, he was spinning me around and dipping me, catching me every single time. We pretty much repeated the same dance moves over and over again until a slow sort of song came on. Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts was now playing. He pulled me closer to him until our chests were almost touching. Our fingers still laced in each other's, he sang quietly to me. "Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars pointing me on my way to your loving arms. This much I know is true...that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you."  
I breathed out shakily, afraid to look up. If I looked into those crystal eyes of his, I would probably do something stupid. Like...kiss him. That would be REALLY stupid. Cas kept singing to me and I leaned my head on his shoulder. We slow danced like that for a while. People probably thought that we were raging homosexuals that were gonna go home and have passionate butt-sex, but I didn't care. I was done being embarrassed of him. Whenever he did something silly in public, I tried to act like I didn't know him. I acted like I wasn't with him.  
The thing is, I'm lucky to have a person like Castiel Novak in my life. I should stop looking at his quirky characteristics like they're a bad thing, and start looking at them like they're a gift. I wouldn't want him to change for anyone or anything. He's perfect the way he is. Or, I should put it more like he's perfectly imperfect. Something like that.  
Cas tilted his head and smiled curiously, furrowing his brow. "You okay? Your face went all blank for a minute." "Yeah," I responded "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm actually doing really good. You okay?" He nodded and hugged me tightly. I hesitated before hugging him back.  
We spent the next 2 hours getting sugar-loaded in that stupid store. By the time we had walked out, our eyes hurt from the lights and our stomachs hurt from the all the sweets. Cas was almost shaking, he was so hyper. I was on the verge on exploding, as well. We both hopped to the car, which was all the way on the other side of the mall. We were hopping for about 20 minutes nonstop.  
As soon as we were in the impala, Castiel crashed. He was asleep in the blink of an eye. I drove back to the motel as quickly as I could, looking over at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay. He snored lightly, which I found quite winsome. When we finally pulled up to the hotel, I got out of the car and opened up his door. I picked him up in my arms, carrying him bridal style, and closed his door with my hip.  
I carried Castiel up the stairs as quietly and quickly as I could. He wasn't crazily heavy like I expected him to be. I'm not saying he's fat, but he is bigger than me. It must've just been so easy to carry him because I'm so manly and strong...yeah...that's it.  
Carefully laying Cas down on the bed, I pulled a blanket over him and tucked a pillow under his head. I had an Edward Cullen moment where I just stared at him for a little bit, examining all his features. He looked younger when he was asleep. He also looked more innocent. He looked like a little kid who was lost and wanted nothing more than to go home. He scrunched up his nose, his lips quirking up at the sides. I smiled down at him and brushed a bit of hair out of his face.  
I sat up in bed for quite a while, thinking about today. It was one of the most fun days I've had in a long time. And, although I would never admit it to Castiel...I actually liked it when he sang. Silly or no, his singing was pretty awesome. Finally, after listening to Cas's light snuffling, I fell asleep. I dreamed of today happening over and over again, never ending.


	6. Chapter 6

CASTIEL'S POINT OF VIEW  
When I woke up, Dean was sitting in the middle of a Devil's trap. He was shivering, wrapping his arms around himself. "Stay away from me, Castiel. Just stay away." Imagine my surprise at this point. I was expecting to wake up next to a smiling, green eyed boy who would scrunch his nose and yawn, then hug me and tell me to make him pie.  
Of course, I didn't listen when he told me to stay away. I ran over to Dean and sat outside the Devil's Trap, asking for an explanation. "What the fucking hell happened, Dean Winchester?!" It came out harsher than I meant, but I really didn't care.  
"Cas...when I was in Hell...I made a deal with Lucifer..." Silence. "You WHAT?" Silence again. "Yeah...i'll just explain it while I can. Lucifer promised to keep you, Sammy, Garth, Kevin and I all safe when he was raised again. He said that he would eventually break out of Hell, and he would keep me and my loved ones completely out of harm's way if I promised to be his vessel. He's coming, I can feel it." Dean started crying, tears rushing down his cheeks like little waterfalls. "I'm so sorry Cas, God i'm so sorry" he apologized like that for several more minutes.  
I'm very bad at holding grudges, especially against Dean. I didn't like seeing him in pain like this, it broke my heart. It was smart thinking to put himself in a Devil's trap, though. I pulled Dean into a tight hug, rubbing his back soothingly. I wanted to make this go away. Angry tears slipped through my eyes and splashed into his hair.  
We stayed like that, crying, for several minutes. Half an hour. An hour. 2 hours. Not talking, just holding each other and bawling. Believe me, I was angry at him for being so stupid that he would make a deal with the devil. I was glad he still had his soul, though. Lucifer is known for taking souls in deals. I held him tightly against me and kissed his forehead "We'll get through this, we always do" He shook his head, not being able to take it. I could see a blush forming across his face, probably from the kiss I just gave him. I hope I embarrassed the stupid bitch. Then again, I hope I DIDN'T embarrass the stupid bitch.  
"Cas...I can't do this. I'm sorry" I didn't even consider running because I knew there would be no point in it. Lucifer would find us, he would find Dean. Besides, I was tired of running. I wanted to stay with him and fight. There was a song that Dean and I used to listen to...two songs, actually. Little Lion Man. King and Lionheart. Those were our two songs, along with Featherstone. I interpreted all of them about being brave, having the heart of a lion. Standing up for what you believe. Not backing down, even when it gets hard. This all sounds really cheesy, but i'm very emotional right now. You have to excuse that, given the fact that my best friend/the guy i'm in love with is about to be possessed by my evil brother who wants nothing more than to destroy and take over the whole world. That tends to upset people a tad bit.  
"Dean, you fucked up." "No shit, Sherlock!" "My name is not Sherlock" "I hate you" "No, you don't." He looked up at me, smiling. "What? Why are you smiling? Stop that, this is not amusing" he smiled wider "I did it." I looked at him, confused. "You did what?" he laughed and blinked, his eyes turning black. I gasped and tried to get up to run, but he had already tackled me and was repeatedly punching my (beautiful) face. His powers didn't work inside the devil trap, I knew that much, so he couldn't just throw me against the wall. I pulled out my angel blade, hesitating for only a minute before slicing him in the side. He screamed in agony and stared at me, bloody tears falling down his cheeks.  
Bloody tears. That meant his vessel was wearing out. That meant his vessel was DYING. Dean...he was dying. Lucifer was wearing him out. I couldn't take it, I screamed. Dean/Lucifer looked at me and smiled, flashing bloody teeth and pitch black eyes. He yelled "Cas! Hey come on, Cas!" And I felt someone shaking me.  
Screaming, I sat up in bed as quick as angelically possible. I was still screaming, and I felt a cool line of sweat across my forehead. My cheeks felt wet and I looked around me. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw Dean sitting next to me on the bed. His face was scared and his eyes were full of worry, his jaw tight. I fell off the bed, backing away from him.  
"Castiel! Listen, it's okay. It was just a dream. None of it is real." He tried to console me, but it wasn't working. "Stay away from me, you black eyed bastard! And get out of Dean!" Dean shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.  
"Okay, what the HELL are you talking about?! I'm me! See?" He picked up a nearby can of holy water and splashed it on himself. He didn't scream, or yell, or cry out, or smoke. It was really him. It was Dean. It was MY Dean.  
I sighed and leaned against the wall, a splitting headache coming on. "I'm sorry." He shook his head. "Nah, don't apologize. I don't even wanna know what you dreamed about." Then he looked up, curious. "What DID you dream about, anyway?"  
I recalled the nightmare to him, not leaving out a single detail. He nodded slowly. "That's weird. Really weird." Staring at him, my gaze intensified. "What did you do?" Dean shook his head "It's what I didn't do. I really did die and go to hell a little while ago...and Lucifer wanted to make that deal...but I said no. Maybe Lucifer is sending you dreams. Maybe he's sending you nightmares?" The idea had occurred to me, to be honest. It was possible. Not simple, but possible.  
He slid down the wall and sat next to me, pulling him into his arms. "You're safe now. It's all gonna be okay. I won't let anyone hurt you" Even though I was trying not to, sobs escaped my lips and eyes while he held me. He whispered "shhhh"s and "it's okay"s and "you're alright"s to me for the next hour. Finally, when I was calm, I went back and laid in bed. Dean brought me some Tylenol for my headache and a glass of water to keep me hydrated. It was sweet, actually.  
"I'm gonna run to the library and do some research on a possible case out in Michigan. You okay here by yourself?" I nodded. He nodded back and bit his lip. "I hate to leave you here alone when you're hurt..." I waved a dismissal hand, prodding him to leave. I wasn't gonna be the one to ruin his research on a possible case.  
"Alright, I'll be back in a couple hours. Call me if you need anything." And he slipped out the door. Laying back in bed, my eyes got heavy. They shut, and soft blackness overtook me.


End file.
